If you’re a friend of mine or just a regular visitor of my blog, then you know that I had some LOVE problems last summer until.. well. So this guy I like, I met him last 2008. We were classmates. He was just a plain classmate for me who I had a crush on. Then on the end of that school year, he confessed that he likes me. And promised to wait for me until the right time comes. (K, we were freshman back then so we were really really young for those kind of things) I said sure, but I never did tell him I like him too. Yea, so we were basically good friends as the years passed by. But our relationship was like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes happy, sometimes not. And God how miserable it is if we’re not okay. Everything is going right, well, maybe not. But still if both of us falls down, we will willingly help each other stand up. Not until one incident, that changed everything.

Summer 2010 was the most painful summer ever for the both of us. April 13 (We had a little swimming party with our friends) it was the last chance I ever had to be with him, happy. April 15 he went to Pangasinan, and that’s where all the bad things started. I won’t tell every single details because that would take me forever. We had some problems from April, May, June and July. And yes, I even told him to stop courting me because I’m tired of him and his attitude. You don’t know how painful it is to let go of the one I love. I’m not ready, so does he.

I hate June. Of course school’s back, so I have to face him. I am still seeing him everyday but we treat each other as strangers. Every day I was pretending I’m alright, every night I was crying myself to sleep. It’s hard. 3 years is something hard to just let go all of a sudden. I joined pageants, I joined Modeling firms just to make myself busy and not have the time to be miserable especially at night in my room when I’m alone. To ramp, it’s my way to escape reality. It does work, for a moment, I thought I already moved on. But who was I fooling? I still love him. And I want him back. He’s way of recovering with what happen? He flirted with so many girls. As in, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaany girls. I’m aware of that, but I don’t really care. I never thought he’ll come around again. He still loves me. I tried to resist him, because I’m tired of getting hurt. I’m tired of him and his stupid attitude. Mind over heart for almost 5 miserable months. Until one day, I had to make a choice. If the guy I love but I know that he’ll hurt me again, or the guy I used as my decoy when I was broken but I know that with him, I will never ever suffer. I made my decision, it’s still him. I’m in love. Call me stupid but I did gave him another chance. I just hope he won’t waste it this time.

P.S. I’ll make this post private after a week.

Hey guys! So so sorry for being MIA for a long time. I’ve been busy! With school.. (well, not that much) Haha! So I joined Mr. and Miss Fiesta Communities Porac 2010. Yes, my first ever pageant.

From the pictorial (July 18) to the pre-pageant (July 24) and of course, the Coronation night (July 30). It was awesome. And going home with The Best in Creative wear, Choreographer’s Choice, Ms. Careline, Best in Long Gown and 1st Runner up award isn’t that bad for a first timer joining a what they call “Battle of the titles” pageant. The experience was amazing<3 I think I’m going to like being in the spotlight. Haha!

Yes, btw, I was with my friend, we both joined the same pageant. We both are first timers, and yes, we got the 1st and 2nd Runner Up award. We’ll do better next time! I swear!

There’s so many blessings God has given me these days. And yes, I am very much thankful. Remember I was so miserable last June? Then I made myself busy and productive this July and what do you know? Blessings came pouring down on me. God has taken something away from me, then he replaced it with something bigger and much better. <3 I feel very loved. This is why I never loose my faith in him.

Gail’s back! Can I hear some wooooooooooooop woooooooooooooops? I MISS YOU GUYS!

PS. I’ll soon revamp this site. Watch out kayyy?

Nah, I just made that up. So it’s my Mom’s birthday last July 4 so my whole clan from my Mother side came to our home to celebrate. Yes, the Roldan Family. It was fun hanging out with them. I only get the chance to see them once a year, every Christmas that is, and I think it’s not enough. So I’m glad they came, and our house was turned upside down because of my cousins. The kids played hide and seek, the teens played computer games (PSP etc) the girls shared stories while the adults sang in the Karaoke and drank beers/wine. Typical pinoys.

(too bad we weren’t able to take a pic of all the teens) And then ofc, me and my cousins watched Eclipse. My rating? 4 out of 5 stars. Definitely much better than New Moon. And I got confused on who’s Team I am going for, Edward or Jacob. No, I’m not a huge fan of the Twilight Saga but I will not let myself get left out with the latest trend. hha!

MY. LIFE. IS. GETTING. BETTER. AND. I’M. HAPPY. NOW — WELL. ALMOST.

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